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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25461721">Afraid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnstonmara353/pseuds/Johnstonmara353'>Johnstonmara353</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Good Wife (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:26:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,775</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25461721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnstonmara353/pseuds/Johnstonmara353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kalinda is afraid of Lemond Bishop and her ex-husband. The FBI won’t protect her. The law firm couldn’t protect her. Where does she turn?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alicia Florrick/Kalinda Sharma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Afraid</p>
<p>Alicia/Kalinda</p>
<p>Summary: Kalinda is afraid of Lemond Bishop and her ex-husband. The FBI won’t protect her. The law firm couldn’t protect her. Where does she turn?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Alicia sat at the kitchen table, scanning through files. Since she had left Lockhart-Gardener, she and Cary carried more case loads as name partners. With only ten other lawyers working under them and an investigator that lacked experience, it had begun to weigh on them both. </p>
<p>	Alicia heard the knock at the door as she was refilling her wine glass. She shook her head as she hurried to the door to stop the persistent knocking. She thought it would be Cary; bringing her more paperwork in the middle of the night. She was beyond to surprised to see Kalinda. Soaked to the bone, shaking, in her doorway. The last time she saw Kalinda was a year prior. She never thought she would see her again. The anger that Alicia had felt for the woman had long faded. Over the past few months she had even grown to miss her. “Kalinda,” she whispered with a slight smile. But the woman didn’t react. She barely made eye contact. If she hadn’t still be standing, Alicia would have thought the investigator had stopped breathing. Every muscle in her body was tense. “Kalinda, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>	Kalinda didn’t have anywhere else to go. She had never experienced fear in her life until she lived through the last year. And as hard as she tried, and as clever as she was, Kalinda found herself to be no match for Lemond Bishop or her ex-husband. “I’m afraid,” she barely mumbled. </p>
<p>	All the color drained from Alicia’s face. Throughout their friendship or co-existence, she had never seen the investigator show fear. She was always stoic. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. Even losing their friendship didn’t seem to waiver her that much in Alicia’s mind. The attorney didn’t think before she reacted. She grabbed Kalinda’s arm and pulled her into the apartment before closing and bolting the door. It shocked her more that Kalinda didn’t pull away from her. She slipped her hand into Kalinda’s and led her into the kitchen. Motioning for her to sit down while Alicia brought her a cup of coffee. Kalinda didn’t touch the cup. She only sat and stared at it. Alicia sat in the chair next to her, her hand finding Kalinda’s again. “Tell me what happened,” she whispered. </p>
<p>	Kalinda shook her head. She hated feeling so weak. She hated needed someone else. But after a year of running, she was too tired to run anymore. The first time she ran she was twenty-two, it was easier for her to disappear. In her thirties, she lacked the agility and stamina she once had. “I tried to disappear, but they kept finding me,” she mumbled. </p>
<p>	Alicia squeezed her hand. “Who found you, honey?”</p>
<p>	Kalinda’s entire body shook from the cold and from her own fear. She shouldn’t have brought Alicia into her fight. She had endangered her once before, and she had promised herself not to do it again. But she couldn’t leave. Where would she go? Will was dead. She couldn’t trust Diane and she doubted Cary would be able to focus enough to listen to her story. “Guys working for Lemond Bishop were the first to find me. It wasn’t hard for Nick to figure out where I was by watching them. I’ve continued to move and they still find me. I’ve already been to the FBI,” she whispered, shaking her head. “They can’t protect me. I gave them all the information they needed to prosecute Lemond Bishop, they promised I would be safe, and now I live in constant fear. I did everything right this time, and I’m the one that’s gonna die.”</p>
<p>	Alicia’s blood was boiling. She had told Kalinda repeatedly not to cooperate with the FBI. She had urged her to seek counsel before she gave any type of statement. But they were supposed to protect her if she turned state’s evidence. “The hell you are,” she growled. </p>
<p>	Alicia grabbed her phone from the table, telling Kalinda to be quiet, and dialed the familiar number. It didn’t take but a half a ring before Peter’s gruff voice was on the other end. “Alicia, it’s late.”</p>
<p>	She waited a few seconds for him to wake up. Not wanting to have to repeat herself in case anyone was listening. “Peter, I need you to call Eli and come to my house. I need you to do this and not ask any questions. Do not tell anyone you are coming here.”</p>
<p>	She could hear Peter shuffling to pull what sounded like jeans up his hips. “Alicia, what the hell is going on?”</p>
<p>	Alicia could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t lose Kalinda. She had already lost her once and believed she would never get the chance to make it right. “Peter...” he voice broke on his name. Kalinda remained silent next to her, but squeezed her hand in support. “I’m afraid.”</p>
<p>	She could hear him scrambling voice his keys as she heard his condo door slam. “I’m calling Eli now. We’ll be there in twenty minutes.”</p>
<p>	Alicia discounted the line he had a chance to say goodbye. She didn’t need to hear it. He was coming. Eli was coming. </p>
<p>	She turned her attention back to Kalinda. She was still shivering. Her clothes were still soaked and even with the heat on, Alicia could see the goosebumps on her arms. “We have twenty minutes before they get here. We need to get you out of these wet clothes.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda nodded and followed as Alicia pulled her into the bedroom. It was the same as Kalinda remembered. The only difference was Peter’s stuff wasn’t lying around anymore. There were more knickknacks on the dressers. More pillows on the bed. As Alicia gathered a few things for the investigator, Kalinda wandered the room. Touching the photographs of Zach and Grace. She smiled as she passed each photo of the beautiful children, until she came across one she hadn’t known had been taken. It was of her and Grace. She picked up the picture, running her fingers over the glass. She could remember that day. Grace had a half day at school and Alicia was in court all afternoon. She had told Grace before she left to stay in her office and not bother anyone. It wasn’t ten minutes after Alicia left, Kalinda, who’s office was across from hers, motioned for the Grace to come sit with her. They had talked for hours. Grace asking questions about her job and Kalinda asking about her classes and what she wanted to do after she graduated. They ordered pizza when Alicia hadn’t been back from court by five. The picture in her hand was of her and Grace laughing at something that she couldn’t remember. It was one of her favorite days. </p>
<p>	She felt Alicia behind her, closer than she probably she have been. She felt the lawyer’s fingertips on her shoulder and back. “I hadn’t seen Grace look that happy in a long time. I can’t even remember how long I stood there and watched you two. She talked about you for days after that.” She said with a laugh. “I think Zach was a little jealous he didn’t get to hang out with you.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda smiled. “The whole time, it was like talking to a mini version of you. It terrified me when she went missing,” she said, setting the frame back on the dresser. </p>
<p>	Alicia’s fingers played with the hair at the back of Kalinda’s neck. “Did I ever tell you why she wanted to come to work with me all the time? Why she bugged you all day long when she was there?”</p>
<p>	“She never bothered me,” Kalinda defended. “But no, you never told me why.”</p>
<p>	Alicia kissed her temple. “I yelled at Grace the last time I found her in your office. I told her that she needed to stop bothering you. That you were working and you didn’t need her in there pestering you. She cried for almost an hour and refused to talk to me. When she finally calmed down, I asked her why.” Alicia paused for a moment, tears starting to blur her vision. “She said that she didn’t have any friends at school. She was either bullied or leered at because of the scandal. She said, you were her only friend.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda smiled. “Grace told me about the bullying and the boys. I took care of the boys. I told her she would have to learn how to fight back against the bullies. But the situation with the boys I didn’t want her dealing with by herself.”</p>
<p>	Alicia smiled before moving away and back to the bed. “If you want to shower before you change, you can. I’m gonna wait for them. Figure out how I’m gonna have this played.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda turned, finally catching Alicia’s gaze. It was the first time they had connected since she walked through the door. “Always have a plan don’t you?”</p>
<p>	Alicia shook her head, handing the towel to Kalinda, her hair still dripping down her shoulders. “Not always,” she whispered. </p>
<p>	They both jumped at the steady knock on the front door. It was definitely Peter. “I’ll go handle them while you get dry and dressed. If you don’t want to come out there you don’t have to.” Alicia took a step closer to Kalinda. “I’m gonna take care of this.” Without saying another word, Alicia left the room. The knocking on the door was beginning to get louder. She tried to hurry with the latches and dead bolt. Before she could twist the knob, Peter and Eli come barging in. Peter in a wrinkled dress shirt and blue dress and Eli in his pajamas. </p>
<p>	Both men glanced around for a sign of an immediate threat, but found known. Alicia poured more cups of coffee, Eli noted the extra cup that was on the island. “Alicia, what the hell did you wake me up for in the middle of the night?” Eli grumbled. </p>
<p>	Alicia rolled her eyes. Sliding both cups of coffee to the men across the island. “Someone needs our help. I had a visitor tonight. Someone that disappeared last year. They can’t stay hidden on their own. We need to make that happen.”</p>
<p>	Peter looked at her knowingly. His gears already turning in his head. Working a plan that hadn’t even been discussed. Eli had his typical stern look. “Where is she?” Peter asked. </p>
<p>	Before Alicia could answer, the bedroom door opened. Kalinda, clad in Alicia’s Georgetown hoodie and sweatpants, slowly entered the room and took her seat next to Alicia. She didn’t look up. And she was grateful that Alicia didn’t grab her hand like she knew she wanted to. </p>
<p>	Peter glanced at Eli. They had made her disappear before. “What are we hiding you from?” Eli asked. </p>
<p>	Kalinda glanced up for a moment, before taking a steady breath. “I testified for the FBI. I turned state’s evidence against Lemond Bishop. They didn’t give me any other choice. They threatened to charge Alicia with forgery of a signed document and force Diane to testify. I couldn’t let that happen.”</p>
<p>	They all thought Eli’s eyes were gonna pop out of his head. Alicia watched him for a moment. The gears turning and a plan mapping itself out. “Do you know anyone in England? Friends? Family? Anyone that would recognize you under a different name?”</p>
<p>	Kalinda shook her head. She didn’t want to leave. She would rather stay in fight, but she had been fighting for so long. She was too tired to fight anymore.</p>
<p>	“Are you sure? I don’t care if it was a woman that served you coffee. If you were ever there, someone will recognize you.”</p>
<p>	“I’ve never been to England. My family is in the States and India. My friends are all in the States and Canada.” </p>
<p>	Peter picked up his keys from the table. “I’ll start the new identity tonight. I’ll have everything ready in the morning. Eli whatever connections you have in Europe start calling them.” He turned his attention back to Kalinda and the woman that was once his wife. “Stay here. Stay inside. Do not call anyone. I’ll call Cary and let him know Alicia won’t be into work tomorrow. Make a list of the things you need and I’ll have Grace pick it up,” he said before turning to Alicia. “Do not leave the apartment. If someone is looking for her, they’re looking for you. If they think you’re helping her, they’ll kill you.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda shook her head. “Alicia’s not at risk.”</p>
<p>	Peter smiled. Eli just shook his head. “They found your weak spot, Kalinda. They found out what you care about the most. And it’s not yourself.” Peter paused for a moment, glancing at Alicia. “How much contact has she had with Zach?”</p>
<p>	Alicia shook her head. “He met her once when we had to work on that case from home.”</p>
<p>	Peter nodded. “I’ll have Zach pick up everything you need. Grace is too close to you.” He gathered his things and nudged Eli to the door. “I won’t call. I’ll bring everything here in two days. Don’t call the office or my cell. I don’t want anything traced back to where Kalinda is.”</p>
<p>	Alicia nodded and followed them to the door. Thanking them before closing and bolting the door once again. Kalinda was still sitting in the same spot when she returned to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the counter and poured a fresh glass of milk. Smiling as she set it down in front of the investigator. “I don’t know what you did to my daughter, but ever since that pizza night with you, that is the only milk she will drink.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda paused for a moment. The intimacy of that comment reached deep into her heart. “You have my milk,” she whispered. Alicia stood behind her, running her hand through the dark, damp hair. Wanting for that moment to linger. “I don’t want to leave again,” she choked, reaching for Alicia’s hand that was resting on her shoulder. </p>
<p>	Alicia kissed the top of her head. She had missed the investigator far more than she realized. She had allowed the tension between them continue for far too long. Alicia blamed herself for Kalinda leaving the first time. She was cruel to her. She never gave her a chance after she discovered the incident. “I don’t want to let you go again,” she whispered into the room. She pulled Kalinda from the chair. Wanting to see her face so badly. She wiped away the tears that ran down Kalinda’s face before stepping closer to her. Leaving very little space between them. She could feel that same electricity that had run between them years before. And by the gasp that left Kalinda’s lips, she felt it too. “But I can’t let you die either,” she whispered as she brushed her fingers down Kalinda’s cheek. Her hand wrapped around Kalinda’s neck, pulling closer. “I can’t let you die, too.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda took that final step, closing the space between them. She hadn’t realized when she had decided to come to Alicia’s that she would feel that intensity, that emotional connection again. It had been a long time since they had been close and alone together. It had been awhile since they just looked at each other and silently connected. It was the same connection they had when they first met. It had been almost nine years, and that spark was still there. “I’ve missed you so much, Alicia. I have done nothing but think about you over the last year. Thinking about how Zach was doing at college. What boy did Grace have a crush on? I missed it all. I’ve missed seeing you every day. I’ve missed our victory drinks after a case. I miss hearing you laugh, Alicia,” Kalinda whispered, her hand coming up to rest against Alicia’s cheek. She wasn’t shocked when the attorney didn’t pull away. She could feel Alicia’s fingers play at her waist. Bunching the fabric of the hoodie between her fingers. “Forgive me, Alicia,” she whispered against her lips. </p>
<p>	A chill ran through Alicia’s body. “I forgave you the week after it happened. I was angry with Peter. I wasn’t angry with you, Kalinda.” She caressed Kalinda’s nose with her own. Her breath mingling with the investigators. “I was jealous, Kalinda. I was angry because the man I hated the most saw parts of you that I hadn’t. Lana, Dana, Cary all saw a part of you that I could never see. You never chose me.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda snaked her arms around Alicia’s neck. The lack of her heels made her a few inches shorter than the tall attorney. “I chose you every time, Alicia. They saw me physically. They saw my body. They never saw the things you did. They never knew things about me that you did. They never meant anything to me. I didn’t turn state’s evidence against Lemond Bishop to save myself, I did it to save you. They threatened to bring charges of perjury and forgery against you for that divorce document that just suddenly appeared in David Lee’s lap. You never signed that document, Alicia, and David didn’t trick you into signing it. I signed it because I knew you had forgotten the page when I couldn’t find it in the system. If you had signed it, it would have been there. Diane knew it was my signature. She yelled at me for an hour over it, but it was too late to take it back and I wouldn’t have if they asked me. I chose you over and over again. I chose you in all the ways that mattered.”</p>
<p>	Alicia felt as if her entire mind was replaying old memories in her head. Putting in old tapes and allowing her to see all those moments. The knowing looks in Kalinda’s eyes. The curious suspicion in Wills. “I’m gonna fall apart when your gone,” Alicia chocked out, trying to hold her tears back. “I’m not gonna know where you are.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda waited a beat. She wanted so badly to close the few inches between her lips and Alicia’s. She only had two days. Two days to make memories that would last her the rest of her life. She played with the hair on the back of Alicia’s neck. Watching her eyes flutter shut. She decided to take her chance. She closed the distance and felt the softness of Alicia’s lips for the first time. And to the investigators surprise the beautiful woman in front of her didn’t pull away. Her hands tightened around her waist, pulling her closer. Alicia moaned deep in her throat as Kalinda’s tongue touched hers for the first time. It was electrifying. Kalinda pulled away first, nipping Alicia’s bottom lip. “You’ll always know where I am. Somehow I will always let you know where I am.”</p>
<p>	Alicia smiled. Somehow she didn’t doubt that Kalinda’s friends ran that deep. Allowing her to hide and still contact the only person she still cared about. “Come to bed. Grace is staying with Jackie this weekend.” Alicia didn’t wait for an answer before pulling Kalinda towards the bedroom for the second time that night. Closing the bedroom door and locking it behind them. It was more to keep Peter out if he came barging in if he decided to check on them in the morning. She watched as Kalinda wandered the room. Touching the books on her shelves. Touching the vanity where Alicia sat every morning. She smiled, leaning against the one of the wood posts at the end of her bed. “You know, looking at you walking around in my old Georgetown hoodie reminds me of all the reasons I had sex with women in college. You look sexy in my clothes.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda blushed. Brushing a few strands of dry hair behind her ear before walking towards Alicia. Giving her hips an extra sway for her benefit. “You were a charmer in college.”</p>
<p>	Alicia didn’t miss the huskiness in her voice or the way her hips swayed. “I only charmed the ladies.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda ran a hand down Alicia’s arm. “Why only the ladies.”</p>
<p>	Alicia shrugged, sitting on the bed, pulling Kalinda to curl up next to her. “Because women want to be wanted. Men want to be needed. I didn’t need a man, I never have. With women it is so much different. There’s a grounding connection that happens with a woman. It’s always slower, softer.” She glanced down, Kalinda’s head resting on her shoulder, but glancing up at her at the last moment. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You already know. It’s more intimate with a woman. There’s more exploring.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda kissed her cheek softly. “I want to explore with you, Alicia,” she whispered against her ear. </p>
<p>	Alicia pulled her closer. “We do have two days,” she whispered.</p>
<p>	Kalinda didn’t want to remember that she only had two days. She had two days left in a city that had been her home for seven years. “Alicia...” She cleared her throat before she tried again. “I would like to see Grace before I leave.”</p>
<p>	Alicia kissed the side of her head. “She would love that. She’s missed you since you’ve been gone. Now when she has to come to the office she has no one to hang out with. She doesn’t like Robyn very much. Grace thinks she talks too much,” she laughed. </p>
<p>	Kalinda smiled. “Robyn’s a good kid.”</p>
<p>	Alicia tipped the younger woman’s chin up to look at her. “Don’t do that. We missed you, Kalinda. It doesn’t have anything to do with how good Robyn is. We missed you. My daughter missed you. She missed sitting in the silence with you.” Alicia’s lips barely touched the investigator’s before slightly smiling. “Just remember, she’s a girl. Expect tears.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda kissed her gently. Nipping her bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue. “I’m more worried about your tears.” Kalinda’s eyes locked on Alicia’s. It was the most intense moment she had felt in her life. A few stray tears running down the attorney’s face. Kalinda wiped them away softly. “I love you so much. Please, don’t cry.”</p>
<p>	“Then don’t leave while I’m still sleeping. I know that’s what you were planning to do. To make it easier,” Alicia said, pulling Kalinda against her. Her hand slipping under the hoodie, caressing her bare back. Feeling her skin unobstructed for the first time. “I have to say goodbye, Kalinda.”</p>
<p>	The investigator buried her face in Alicia’s neck. Hiding herself for a moment. She had thought about leaving while Alicia was sleeping. But the more she thought about it, the more she wanted those final moments between them. Something she could remember. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” Kalinda bit the thin skin on her neck, gently. A hand caressing Alicia’s blood filled cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.” She kissed the attorney’s cheek before tracing her bottom lip with her thumb. “Please lay with me. I want to feel you against me,” she whispered against the shell of her ear. </p>
<p>	Alicia shivered feeling the hot breath on her neck. The huskiness in Kalinda’s voice causing her pain to lessen. It would never disappear. But feeling her in that moment, caused her to temporarily forget their impending goodbye. Alicia grinned as she turned her body to leave the bed. Motioning for Kalinda to move. “Get under the covers,” she whispered, unzipping her jeans and stripping them from her legs. </p>
<p>	Kalinda adjusted herself under the covers. Pulling the hoodie over her head and tossing it to the floor. Reminding herself to take it with her before she left. The investigator watched Alicia strip down to her bra and panties as if that was a dance the two had played often. It felt natural. As the older woman climbed into the bed, the investigator’s hands were on her bare skin. Pulling her down on her side. Kalinda needed to see her face as long as possible. As Alicia settled, the younger woman brushed the long dark curls from her face. Kalinda’s lips barely touched hers. “I love you. No matter where I am, know that,” she whispered before allowing herself to swallow Alicia’s response. It wasn’t the first kiss, but it felt like the first kiss that counted. She could take her time. Feel the softness of Alicia’s lips against her own. Taste the woman’s minty toothpaste as her tongue snaked passed its barrier. The moan released from Alicia’s throat echoed in her ears. </p>
<p>	The words Kalinda spoke repeated itself over and over in Alicia’s head. Her younger lover was much softer than she had expected. Her skin flawless. All those years of working alongside the investigator, she had always seemed tough, complete muscle. But as Alicia’s hands ran along her shoulder and side, all the attorney felt were the feminine curves of Kalinda’s body. She only pulled away when air was necessary. Her eyes immediately found Kalinda’s. “I’ve always known,” she whispered, brushing Kalinda’s curls behind her ear. “But know that no matter where you are, that I love you. That You have two children here that love you.” Her lips gently brushed Kalinda’s. Her hand playing with the baby soft hair on the back of the investigator’s neck. Alicia couldn’t stop herself from marveling in Kalinda’s beauty for a few moments. Her wet lips slightly parted. Her eyes hooded from arousal. The slight redness coloring her cheeks causing her dark eyes to look even more alluring. Alicia couldn’t recall a moment when she had found Kalinda more beautiful. “You have people here that are still gonna think about you every day. I’m always gonna think about you and talk about how tough and kind you are. I will not forget you, Kalinda.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda’s fingers played with the side hem of Alicia’s panties. Her heart clenching in her chest. The attorney’s words hitting her hard. Her jaw clenched as she felt the painful reminder of the tears that had been threatening to fall since Alicia began speaking. She wanted to badly to have something good to remember. Something special that would make her smile when she thought of Alicia. “Let’s make a moment we’ll both remember.”</p>
<p>	Alicia’s hand trailed down Kalinda’s side. Finding the bare skin of her waist, she couldn’t stop herself from pulling the investigator closer. Her nails lightly scratching the small of Kalinda’s back. She grinned as she saw the smile spreading to Kalinda’s eyes. The tears finally disappearing. “I’m a little out of practice. It might take a while.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda felt her breath hitch. She had never met anyone that could cause her body to react the way it was. The arousal was increasing between her legs. Her heart was beating out of her chest. “I’ve got a while.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>	Kalinda was more beautiful than Alicia had ever imagined. Her slightly wet from the tears she had been trying to hide. Her caramel skin was spotless and softer than anything she had ever felt. It had been a long time since she felt another woman’s skin against her own. But she was remembering all the reasons why she had craved it so often throughout her college years. There was no aggression. No need to dominate. Just the gentleness of another woman’s soft touch. “You’re beautiful,” she whispered, as her fingers traced the hem of her silk shorts. She could feel the investigator shivering as her fingers slipped passed the offending band and finding her soaked curls. She could feel the short puffs of air against her lips as she rested her forehead against Kalinda’s. She wanted to see her. To see every emotion that she could cause on her lover’s face. Wanted to see every ounce of please flash in Kalinda’s eyes. </p>
<p>	Alicia didn’t wait for Kalinda to ask for more. She gently pushed on Kalinda’s shoulder, moving the investigator to her back. Allowing her to rest her head against the silk pillows. Her black curls cascading down her shoulders. Her bare chest rising and falling with every deep breath. Alicia’s finger’s, still wet from her neck, to her clavicle, to her right breast. Her nipple erect. She could feel the chills running through Kalinda’s body as her nails ran over the erect flesh. “Guess I’m not that rusty,” she whispered before straddling one of Kalinda’s thighs and leaning over the smaller woman.</p>
<p>	Kalinda could feel the electricity running through her veins as Alicia ran her fingers back and forth across her nipple. She couldn’t help but smile as Alicia’s breath hit her lips and the words filled her ears. Kalinda’s hands tangled in Alicia’s brown locks, capturing the lawyer’s lips with her own. “Definitely not rusty,” she whimpered when Alicia pulled away. “If this is rusty, I might be in trouble.”</p>
<p>	Alicia nipped at Kalinda’s bottom lip one more time before beginning her descent down the investigator’s body. Sucking on the caramel skin of her overly sensitive neck. Nipping at the thin skin covering the investigator’s clavicle. “You are in so much trouble,” she whispered, glancing at Kalinda’s face before taking a nipple into her warm mouth. Sucking gently on the erect flesh. Biting and pulling on the bundle of nerves before slowly licking the pain away. Listening to Kalinda gasp and feeling her body arch. Alicia slowly switched to the other breast when Kalinda’s brow furrowed from discomfort. The attorney knew well how to hover between pleasure and pain, but was still learning Kalinda’s body. The second her lips covered the unattended nipple, however, Kalinda’s face went back to pleasure. </p>
<p>	“What the hell are you doing to me,” Kalinda gasped, lifting her hips, searching for contact. She watched with what little control she had, as Alicia’s teeth scrapped and pulled on her now slightly red nipples. But it wasn’t the act that had Kalinda moaning and biting her bottom lip. It was the seductive look on Alicia’s face. It was a look she never thought she would receive from Alicia, and it almost caused her to crumble. Her fingers tightened in Alicia’s hair. Her thigh rising slightly, pressing herself hard against the attorney’s core. Craving for her to feel the same pleasure that was coursing through her body. She could feel the wetness from between Alicia’s legs dripping on her thigh. Causing the lawyer to slip against her rock hard thigh with every movement of her body. “Alicia...” she gasped as the woman suddenly bit down slightly harder around her swollen flesh. “I’ve never climaxed without being touched first,” she paused for a moment before attempting to continue. “If you keep doing that, we’re gonna find out what that’ll look like.”</p>
<p>	Alicia grinned. Sitting up quickly and undoing her bra. Almost making a show of it for Kalinda’s sake. Running her hand down her chest. Pinching her nipples between her fingers and watching the investigator licking her lips. She kissed Kalinda sweetly. Tasting her need with every nip of her teeth against her lips. “I have a feeling you have more than one in you.” She lowered her lips back to Kalinda’s breasts, this time using her hands to attend to the opposite erect flesh. “I want to see what this climax is gonna look like.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda took a deep breath as one of Alicia’s hands interlaced with hers. Bringing their hands to her free breast. The attorney forcing her to pinch her own nipple between their fingers. Kalinda’s eyes fluttered closed as she felt the first signs of her climax beginning to build. It was different. It started deep in the pit of her stomach. Kalinda moaned and lifted her free hand to entangle in Alicia’s hair. Looking for something to hold onto while the lawyer’s mouth surrounded the overly sensitive nub. She could feel the woman above her sucking rhythmically. Could feel the woman’s tongue creating random patterns around her wet flesh. “Oh, fuck, Alicia,” the investigator yelped, her body feeling as if it were curling in on itself. She tried to keep her eyes open. She wanted to watch Alicia when she climaxed, but her body wouldn’t allow it. “God, Alicia...” she moaned loudly as Alicia continued to swirl and flick her tongue around the hard, tired flesh. Applying just the right amount of pressure with the tip of her tongue. “Baby, please...” Kalinda moaned, not noticing Alicia’s subtle surprise at the term of endearment. As Alicia applied slightly more pressure, biting down hard on one while pinching the other, Kalinda’s back arched; her thighs began to shake. “Don’t stop,” she begged, scratching her way to the peak of her climax and finally she shattered. Screaming Alicia’s name. The combination of the void between her legs and the overly petting of her breasts, Kalinda was soaring. </p>
<p>	Kalinda’s unbelievably powerful orgasm was one of the most beautiful things Alicia had ever seen. Slowly, Alicia allowed the investigator’s body to ride that high while slowing her tongue and fingers. Alicia only pulled away when Kalinda’s finger pulled gently on her hair. She carefully watched Kalinda’s face, as she slowly moved to lay next to the exhausted investigator. Her face was glowing. Her chest was flushed and wet. Her lips were slightly parted. Alicia moved the hair away from her sweat soaked forehead. “You have no idea how beautiful you are,” she whispered against her temple. </p>
<p>	Kalinda raised a hand to Alicia’s cheek. Taking a few minutes for her body to relax before turning her head and capturing Alicia’s lips with her own. “The more you say it, the more I believe it,” she whispered as Alicia rolled to her back, pulling Kalinda against her side. The investigator buried her face in the attorney’s neck. Her fingers running lightly over Alicia’s chest. Her own nipples were slightly sore and raw. Her lips gently sucked on the skin below Alicia’s ear. “Whoever said you were rusty, lied to you,” she whispered, running her fingers around Alicia’s belly button. “Where’d you learn that?”</p>
<p>	Alicia kissed her forehead before moving the black hair out of her face. Noticing the redness in Kalinda’s cheeks and neck. “I never learned how to do that. You’re just more sensitive than I thought,” she whispered.</p>
<p>	Kalinda’s hand continued to travel down the attorney’s pale abdomen. Tugging the belly ring between her fingers. Grinning when she heard the startled moan from Alicia lips. “I’d be embarrassed, but I don’t care.”</p>
<p>	Alicia pulled her closer as Kalinda’s thigh slowly slid up her leg. She knew her lover was embarrassed. She could sense the slight uneasiness in her body. “No need to be embarrassed. I thought it was sexy and sweet.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda purred against the pale skin of the attorney’s neck. Her fingers pulling on the side of Alicia’s panties. “I don’t want to be sweet right now,” she whispered, her fingers slipping into the band and finally touching wet curls. She watched Alicia’s face as the attorney gasped. “I need to taste you now, Alicia,” she said a little more forcefully, pulling harder on the offending fabric. “Get these off before I tear them off.”</p>
<p>	Alicia pushed the fabric down her legs. Inhaling sharply as Kalinda situated herself between her thighs. Her nails running slowly along the underside of her strong legs. </p>
<p>	Kalinda gave that same seductive smile Alicia had seen her use on the security guard during their first case. She lowered her head to Alicia’s chest, her tongue circling a nipple. Her eyes never leaving Alicia’s face as she took her nipple between her warm lips and sucked lightly. Alicia’s moans spurring her on, she bit the nipple gently, sucking it harder as Alicia’s fingers tangled in her hair. “I love hearing you moan for me,” she replied, kissing and licking down her strong abdomen. Her moans growing louder as Kalinda’s lips sucked on the skin above Alicia’s mound. She could smell the attorney’s arousal as she lowered herself to her stomach. Kissing the inside of Alicia’s thighs. Licking the sticky arousal from her sensitive skin. Her fingers digging into Alicia’s hips; holding her down. “God, Alicia, you taste so sweet,” she growled. </p>
<p>	Kalinda’s tongue slowly passed through Alicia’s wet, swollen lips. Her taste a thousand times better directly from the source. She tasted like peaches and something the investigator couldn’t identify, but it was a taste she was beginning to crave. She glanced at Alicia’s face as her lips surrounded the lawyer’s clit, her tongue gently stroking the swollen bundle of nerves. The attorney’s face was completely flushed. Her lips slightly parted, but her eyes still remained slightly opened; watching her. Kalinda’s tongue slowly trailed from her entrance back to her clit. “Hope you’re comfortable. I’m gonna be here awhile,” she said with a smirk.</p>
<p>	Alicia gasped as Kalinda’s fingers trailed through her soaked lips. Teasing her entrance before pulling them away. The attorney’s fingers tightened in her lover’s hair. “Don’t have a while,” she muttered as she felt Kalinda’s fingers enter her for the first time. Her nails scratching her inter walls, her slim fingers reaching deep inside her. She suddenly remembered why sex with women was so much better. The long well-manicured nails always made the difference. Scratching and reaching in all the right places. But it was a practiced art. And as Kalinda moved her fingers carefully, Alicia knew she had the practice. As the investigator’s fingers finally curled inside her, the lawyer through her head back. Eyes slamming closed. “Kalinda, you’re gonna make me come already,” she whimpered through several gasps. </p>
<p>	Kalinda didn’t stop her fingers from slowly curling inside Alicia’s tight core. She didn’t stop her gentle suction on Alicia’s clit. “Come, baby,” she muttered around the hard flesh. “I’m sure you have more than one in you,” she smirked as her fingers curled hard into her lover’s g-spot. Sucking harder as Alicia screamed her name. Her wetness soaking the younger woman’s hand and sheet below them. She could feel the attorney’s impending orgasm. It was gonna be violent and slow burning. Kalinda glanced up to watch Alicia’s face, but was surprised to see the older woman still watching her. She moved her fingers faster as she released the bundle of nerves. Licking her lips and smirking. “Come for me,” she whispered as Alicia’s eyes rolled back in her head. She sucked hard on the woman’s clit, curling her fingers hard as Alicia’s internal muscles contracted and seized. The moan that was released from Alicia’s throat was animalistic. Her back arched so tight, Kalinda was almost terrified she would break. Her internal muscles pulling her fingers in deeper while her sweet nectar continued to flow down the investigator’s arm. Kalinda’s tongue ceased it’s assault as Alicia’s back lowered to the bed and the aftershocks began. </p>
<p>	Alicia tried to remember how to breath as she gasped for air between entire body shakes. Her internal muscles gripped Kalinda’s fingers tightly. Every emotion she had felt that evening coming back to the forefront of her mind. As her body began to relax, Alicia felt the loneliness begin to return. Her body suddenly relaxing as she felt Kalinda’s fingers leave her. All she felt was emptiness. She would never have a life with Kalinda. She would never wake up in the mornings to Kalinda’s beautiful smile. All they had was two days. Two days to make a memory that would last them a lifetime of loneliness. </p>
<p>	Kalinda could sense the change in Alicia’s body and knew exactly why, because she felt it too. She felt that deep, undeniable connection. She also felt what it was gonna be like without it. It would be lonely. She would always be lonely. Living with a huge piece of her heart in Chicago. She cleaned her hand on the sheet before laying on her side. Caressing Alicia’s tear soaked face. Taking her hand and pulling Alicia to her side. Her body still slightly shaking. “Don’t cry yet, my love,” she whispered as she kissed Alicia gently. “Just enjoy these few days.”</p>
<p>	Alicia rested her forehead against Kalinda’s. Enjoying the taste and smell of herself on the younger woman’s lips. “I wish I could think of a way to make it safe for you to stay,” she whispered, kissing Kalinda with all the passion she had. All the feelings she had been bottling up throughout the years. All the times she fought her feelings for the young investigator flashed through her mind. All the times she had wanted to kiss her. Alicia only pulled away when a choked sob left her throat. “We wasted so much time. I wanted you so badly before I found out about the one night.” She didn’t want the tears to fall but there was no stopping them. “The night Will died; I wanted you with me. I needed you to be here with me. I didn’t care about anything else. Peter took the kids. I couldn’t be there for them. I couldn’t get out of bed. I just kept holding on to my phone, hoping you’d call. Peter wanted to call you, but he didn’t understand why I needed you. Why I needed to hear your voice. Why I needed to see your face.” She paused for a moment, caressing Kalinda’s cheek. Remembering all the nightmares that had occurred after Will had died. There was no one there for her. Peter hated her for loving Will so much and hated her more when he had found Alicia listening to Kalinda’s old voice mails. Playing them over and over again. “You were in that courtroom, Kalinda. Moments before that idiot killed Will, you were there. A moment later and I could’ve lost you too. And I couldn’t tell anyone that. I couldn’t tell anyone that I was still terrified that I would wake up and you would be gone.” </p>
<p>	Another memory quickly flooded Alicia’s mind. She remembered seeing Kalinda smiling at her hotel door. A bag of clothes in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other. Will had been dead for almost a year. She was still bitter. Still so angry. “When you brought me the suitcase full of clothes when I was working out of town. I was so angry back then. I wasn’t even angry at you. I hadn’t been angry at you in a very long time. I was angry at myself. Will was dead. Peter didn’t allow me to grieve the was I needed. And I took all that rage and sorrow out on you. I needed you in a way no one would have understood. I’m not even sure I understood what I need. I just needed you. And I had no right to ask you for what I needed. Even as you sat there apologizing, I still couldn’t ask.” She lightly kissed the investigator’s lips, thankful that Kalinda was patiently allowing her to vent and cry. “There wasn’t a moment I didn’t want or need you. I just didn’t know how to ask for what I didn’t deserve.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda gently wiped her tears away. Allowing a few calming breaths to pass between them. She kissed the overly sensitive lawyer. Resting her forehead against the out of breath woman. “I think it’s time to rest for a while.”</p>
<p>	Alicia tried to wipe her tears away, but Kalinda held her hands tightly to her chest. She shook her head slightly. “I don’t want to lose any more time with you,” she whispered against swollen caramel lips.</p>
<p>	Kalinda couldn’t help but smile as Alicia’s hand interlaced with hers against her bare chest. She understood exactly how Alicia felt. She wanted so badly to cherish every moment with Alicia. But her lover needed to break, emotionally. A few hours ago, Alicia hadn’t even realized she was back in the state. And at that moment, they were in bed. And in a few days, she would be gone again. Leaving Alicia behind, again. They both needed the few hours of reprieve. “We can’t stay awake for two days. We need to take a break, Love. You need to sleep for a while.”</p>
<p>	Alicia closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. “I won’t forgive you if you leave while I’m asleep,” she whispered as her breath began to even out. Her body relaxing. Her brain tried to fight the heavy shield of sleep. Terrified that Kalinda would decide it would be better for them both if she disappeared in the middle of the night. </p>
<p>	Kalinda kissed her forehead as her fingers tightened around Alicia’s. Pressing the palm of Alicia’s hand against her chest. Allowing her to feel the steady beating of her heart as she drifted off. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>	As Kalinda had promised, she was still laying next to her when her eyes opened again. Her face was finally peaceful. Those lines that had become a permanent feature between Kalinda’s eyes were now gone. </p>
<p>	Alicia couldn’t let her go. She couldn’t give her up again. As hard as she was trying to convince herself that she would survive Kalinda leaving a second time, the lawyer’s heart ached at the thought of saying goodbye again. She slowly slid out of bed, grabbing her robe and cell phone before quietly leaving the room. She hit the redial button and waited. </p>
<p>	“Alicia, I’m good, but I’m not good enough to already have the paperwork signed. And I told you not to call me,” he said, surprised that Alicia would risk her own safety as well as Kalinda’s for a phone call. </p>
<p>	Alicia could hear that rustling of papers on the other end of the phone. She hadn’t thought about what she would say to her ex-husband before she dialed the number. She hadn’t thought about telling Peter about how she felt for Kalinda. She hadn’t thought about begging him to do everything he could to make her stay. “Peter, she can’t leave again.”</p>
<p>	She could hear the moments tick by as Peter chose his words carefully. Alicia knew what he was doing. He was looking for the words that would offend her the least without asking any questions. It wasn’t his business why she wanted something. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”</p>
<p>	Alicia wasn’t sure what she was asking either. Her mind moving a hundred miles a minute. She needed to get off the phone before Kalinda noticed she was gone. “Call in every favor you still have at the D.A’s office. Call every judge you still have dirt on. Take down Lemond Bishop. Have Eli call Colin Sweeny and tell him I’ll owe him if he makes Nick disappear.”</p>
<p>	Peter was silent for a moment. He had never heard his ex-wife sound so serious. “You do realize what you’re asking, right Alicia? You realize what you’re planning to do? If things go wrong the best thing that will happen to you is disbarment. The worst is the rest of your life in prison. And that’s if we can make the threat completely disappear. If we only get one, Kalinda’s life is still in danger.”</p>
<p>	Alicia cleared her throat. “I’ll take the responsibility. If something goes wrong, it was all my fault. But I can’t just do nothing. I can’t let her leave and not try to make it safe for her to stay. I have to try, Peter. It’s my fault she had to disappear in the first place. I brought her husband here. I let him have access to her. She testified for the FBI to protect me. She testified in your hearing to get you a new trial.” Alicia took a moment to compose herself, remembering the day that made Alicia fall in love with you all over again. Even though she never got to express it. “Kalinda brought Grace home, Peter. She went and looked for our daughter when I couldn’t have been more awful to her. I have to find a way.”</p>
<p>	Peter listened to Alicia’s words. He could hear the passion and love pouring out of his ex-wife’s heart. “I always thought I’d lose you to Will. I never expected it to be Kalinda. You know, Alicia, you are the only person I have ever seen raddle that woman. She can’t think straight around you. That’s why she started making mistakes. She was found because she was thinking about you the entire time she was running. She couldn’t focus and couldn’t keep herself safe. That’s why she came to you.” Peter cleared his throat, thinking of only a few other times that Alicia had been that passionate about anything. And even less so when Kalinda disappeared. “I’ll do everything I can to keep her here, but I can’t make any promises.”</p>
<p>	Alicia couldn’t imagine her life without Kalinda in it. Not after the last few hours they had shared. “I know you will. I’m sorry, Peter. But I can’t lose her again.” She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. “Can you bring Grace home tomorrow? Kalinda wants to see her before she leaves.”</p>
<p>	Peter laughed softly. “I’ll bring her, but are you sure about that? Grace hasn’t been the same since Kalinda left. I’m not even sure if Kalinda will recognize Grace when she sees her. All that damn makeup that kid wears now.”</p>
<p>	“Maybe it’ll help. Grace misses Kalinda, Peter. She’s acting this way because of what happened,” she whispered into the receiver, running a hand through her tangled hair. “I’m gonna go before she wakes up. I’m sorry to bother you again.”</p>
<p>	“You never bother me, Alicia. Just prepare Kalinda for the moody, smart mouth teenager.”</p>
<p>	“Thank you, Peter,” she whispered before discounting the call. Setting her phone on the counter before going back to the bedroom.</p>
<p>	Thankfully, Kalinda was still sleeping as Alicia slipped back into bed. Leaving her robe on the floor and pulled the sheet around them. Even in her sleep Kalinda’s body searched for her. Pushing her back against Alicia’s chest until the older woman’s arm wrapped around her. Pulling her tight against her body. “I’m right here,” she whispered against Kalinda’s ear. “Just go back to sleep.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda moaned low in her throat. Still caught between being awake and drifting. But Alicia’s body was colder than it should be. The sheet beside her was cold underneath them. “You did something stupid, didn’t you?” she asked, sleepily. </p>
<p>	Alicia’s hand trailed down to Kalinda’s hip. “Went to the bathroom. I tried not to wake you.” She nuzzled the younger woman’s neck, her heart fluttering as Kalinda giggled and squirmed. She was gorgeous just waking up. It wasn’t the tough investigator lying in her arms; it was just Kalinda. The beautiful, sweet, kind young woman that she had fall in love with over and over again throughout the years. “Are you awake? Or do you wanna sleep some more,” she asked as her teeth grazed Kalinda’s earlobe.</p>
<p>	Although her brain was still foggy from little sleep, Kalinda’s body still reacted positively to Alicia’s touch. Her back arched as Alicia’s fingers inched under the hem of her silk shorts. Morning sex, whether it was morning or not, was her favorite kind of sex. It was lazy. Slow and passionate. “I’m awake enough to need you.”</p>
<p>	Alicia could feel the wet curls under her fingertips. She sucked the skin behind her ear between her lips. “Were you dreaming about me, Kalinda?” she asked as she ran her fingers over the smaller woman’s dripping slit. Listening to Kalinda’s shallow breathing. Feeling her gently shutter as Alicia’s fingers slowly parted her holds. Running a single finger through the river of her arousal. “Do I turn you on this much?” She bit down on Kalinda’s shoulder before soothing the sting with her tongue. Her fingers moving slowly over the wet, swollen bundle of nerves. “Are you always this wet for me?”</p>
<p>	Kalinda threw her head back, resting it against Alicia’s shoulder, and biting her bottom lip as her lover’s fingers moved slowly through her arousal. A single finger making random patterns around her clit. She swallowed hard as she tried to answer, “I’m always wet for you.” The investigator began to move her hips in time with Alicia’s fingers. “I ruined so many pairs of panties working late nights with you?”</p>
<p>	Alicia grinned against her neck. Thinking about Kalinda being soaked while they were working through their cases. Usually alone in her small office. Kalinda sitting in her reserved spot at the side of her desk, while Alicia stayed in her desk chair in order to quickly pull things up on her laptop. It was the only person in the office Alicia would sit closely with, especially after Will died. Even when they were fighting, they still sat closely together in Alicia’s office, mostly sitting in complete silence. They had never gotten much work done those late nights. They usually talked; openly talked. And flirted in the most subtle ways. “All we ever did during those late nights is talk, flirt and drunk. It was the most fun I ever had,” she whispered, moving two fingers into the whimpering investigator. </p>
<p>	Kalinda couldn’t allow her body to relax. Alicia was lying to her. She had felt the older woman leave the bed. She heard the bedroom door open and close behind her. And even in her sleep induced haze, Kalinda could hear Alicia talking to someone. But the attorney’s fingers continued to move between her legs, temporarily halting her ability to form words. Her mind searching for the words she needed to say. Fighting the growing need in her lower abdomen. Her body working against her. Her legs spreading wider as Alicia finally entered her. Filling her completely for the first time. Her head thrown back as a sharp gasp left her throat. But despite the pleasure that was coursing through her veins; her brain wouldn’t stop running through every possibility. Kalinda’s hand snaked down her body,  finding Alicia’s wet between her legs and stopping her movements. “Don’t lie to me. You were on the phone,” she gasped as Alicia’s fingers began to curl deep inside her.</p>
<p>	Alicia smiled against Kalinda’s temple. Of course the investigator was awake when she had left the bed. How could she have expected her to sleep through any movement when her life was being threatened. Alicia curled her fingers over and over, smiling at Kalinda’s shuttered gasps. “I called Peter and asked him to bring Grace home in the morning. I wanted to surprise you.” Her fingers began to curl  faster as Kalinda finally let of of her hand. “Can I get back to fucking you now?” she asked before biting down hard on the caramel shoulder. Sucking the skin between her lips. Admiring the purple and red bruises that were beginning to form on Kalinda’s otherwise perfect skin. She felt a sense of pride marking the powerful, strong, stubborn woman. </p>
<p>	Between Alicia’s dirty mouth and the continuous curling of her fingers against Kalinda’s g-spot, the investigator’s mind went completely blank. Her hand entangled in Alicia’s hair once again. Turning her head sharply and kissing her lover roughly. Her tongue licking the pale pink lips. Her internal muscles clenching Alicia’s fingers tightly. Kalinda was so close to shattering. Teetering on the edge of the best orgasm she had ever had. “Alicia, please...”</p>
<p>	Alicia knew what Kalinda needed. She allowed Kalinda to roll to her back, the lawyers fingers still buried deep inside her. She watched as Kalinda’s eyes fluttered open. Her hand resting on Alicia’s cheek as the lawyer hovered over her. “I’m right here, Love,” she whispered, kissing her lips. She slid a thigh between Kalinda’s, pushing hard against her hand. Giving Kalinda something to grind against as Alicia’s thumb made gentle circles around her lovers clit. “Come for me, baby.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda’s hips rolled against Alicia’s hand. Her core on fire. Her body had never felt so tense. And finally, the wall came tumbling down. Her climax shattering her vision. She screamed Alicia’s name, gripping the brunette locks between her fingers. She could hear Alicia whispering to her but couldn’t concentrate on the words as the aftershocks began. The well manicured fingers began to move slower and slower as her hips stopped pushing against Alicia hand. </p>
<p>	Alicia slowly removed her fingers and knee from between Kalinda’s legs. Rolling over on her back and pulling the investigator against her chest. Kalinda, still gasping and shivering against her skin, threw her thigh over the older woman’s. She could feel the investigator’s fingers twirling her long brown hair around her fingers. It was something she remembered Grace doing when she was little. When her daughter would get sleepy, she would tangle her fingers in Alicia’s hair. If Alicia would move, Grace would wake up. Kalinda was still fearful she would disappear. “I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered against her lover’s sweat soaked forehead, placing a hand over Kalinda’s. “We can go back to sleep.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda snuggled closer to the woman that had just broken down every wall she had taken so long to build. Her fingers releasing the strands of hair to interlace with Alicia’s; lying directly over the attorney’s heart. “Don’t let me go, Alicia,” she sniffled as she began to drift off.</p>
<p>	Alicia pulled her closer. Smelling the coconut shampoo in her hair. Her heart beating faster for a few moments before settling down again. “I’ll never let you go.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Afraid Part 2: Grace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Grace comes home, but it isn't the same Grace the investigator remembers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alicia could hear Grace yelling through the closed door. The poor girl had been forced to go to her grandmother’s. Alicia explaining to her that she was supposed to work all weekend and she wouldn’t be happy coming into the office with her. And even though it was the truth, her mother had still forced her. She had been forced to stay the entire weekend even though she wanted to be at home. In the recent months, the only place Grace wanted to be was at home or with Shannon. Sweet little Grace had changed so much since she lost her one and only refuge from the world. Alicia had watched her daughter go from talkative and bubbly to moody and refusing to talk for days. </p>
<p>	In the first few weeks after Kalinda left, Grace would still text and call her phone. She never received any messages or calls in return. But she was still hopeful that her mentor would come back. Grace would still come to work with her when she was off from school; disappointed every time when Robyn popped into her office. It wasn’t until month five that Grace had excepted the fact that Kalinda wasn’t coming back. Alicia had started to see the change gradually. She refused to come to the office, and when she was forced, her mother received a smart mouthed teenager. Something Grace never was. Then she started refusing to go to her father’s for the weekends. When Alicia would force her, Peter got the silent treatment from the once sweet girl. And now she was being forced to come back home before the sun was even up. </p>
<p>	Peter didn’t come in the apartment this time. Choosing instead to lean against the door frame. He was overly tired, Alicia could see it on his face. But he still smiled at his belligerent daughter and placed a supporting hand on his ex-wives shoulder. “Grace, I swear to you, I brought you home for a surprise. Your mother asked me to bring you home. Do you really think I want to be up this early either?” Grace chose not to reply, instead she stood by the bookcase waiting for her mother. Her back to both her parents. </p>
<p>	Alicia watched her daughter roll her eyes and turn away. That was the typical reaction both parents received over the past year. Eye rolling, smart ass remarks, or complete silence. She turned to Peter, squeezing that hand that was on her shoulder. “Peter, thank you. You’ll be back tomorrow with the paperwork?”</p>
<p>	Peter smirked. Despite his ex-wives bizarre plan, he could deliver good news for a change. “You know it’s the damnedest thing. It seems that Nick was killed last night in a car accident. Drove his car right into the river. Police said he was intoxicated. Lemond Bishop and most of his crew were executed in their cells a few hours ago. We’re rounding up the rest of them as we speak.”</p>
<p>	Alicia smiled through the tears. Looking away from the man that she had loved for fifteen years. She still loved him in some ways and probably always will. But she never expected him to actually make her plans a reality. “She can stay?”</p>
<p>	Peter shrugged, handing the file over. He and Eli had already gone through with creating a new identity for the young woman if she still wanted to leave. There would never be a one hundred percent guarantee that she would always be safe. “If she still wants to.” He tried to hug Grace, but she pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Grace left her science project at the house.”</p>
<p>	Once the door was closed, Grace leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. “Why was I drug out of bed at the crack of dawn?” It might have been the crack of dawn, but that hadn’t stopped her from putting her red lipstick and dark eye makeup on. It also hadn’t stopped Grace from putting on the shortest skirt she owned alone with a pale pink tank top. </p>
<p>	Alicia smiled, holding out her hand for Grace to take. She had become accustom to Grace’s change of clothing and makeup months ago. Choosing to pick her battles while she still had some control. “I got a surprise for you and I couldn’t wait for you to come home tomorrow.”</p>
<p>	Grace gave her mother that signature Kalinda look. It was something Alicia had noticed over the years she had spent at Lockhart/Gardner. One eyebrow raised, body tense. The lawyer knew the glare well. But Grace took her mother’s hand anyway. “What is it?”</p>
<p>	Alicia tugged Grace in the direction of the living room. She couldn’t help the smile on her face even as Grace continued to look at her suspiciously. “Now if I told you that it wouldn’t be a surprise.”</p>
<p>	Grace cracked a small smile and obediently followed. Her attitude had turned into Kalinda’s so quickly, Alicia hadn’t seen it coming. The mannerisms she had picked up. The emotional walls she had built up around herself. Even cracking the smallest of smiles, reminded Alicia of Kalinda. Even when the investigator was mad, or frustrated, Alicia could still get her to crack a small smile. “It’s so early. Can’t it wait a few more hours?”</p>
<p>	As they rounded the corner into the living room, Alicia let go of her hand. She could see Kalinda over Grace’s shoulder, waiting. Her hands fidgeting in front of her as she stood by the television, well out of Grace’s sight. “I suppose it can. But Kalinda has been really antsy to see you,” she said with a smile, focusing her attention back on her daughter. </p>
<p>	Grace paused. She hadn’t seen her mentor in over a year. She had disappeared. No explanation. No real goodbye. She hadn’t returned her calls and hadn’t even bothered to return a text message. Even hearing the woman’s name made her both frustrated and saddened. Even with her mother’s reassuring smile, the only thing that changed on Grace’s face were the tears that were trying not to fall. “That’s not funny,” she mumbled. </p>
<p>	Kalinda watched the moment from the family room. She could see Alicia’s smile falter. She could see Grace’s hand clenched tightly at her side. The investigator took a few steps towards the young girl. She wasn’t as surprised as Alicia by Grace’s reaction. She would be the first to attempt, it would be the exact same way she would react. “Bachchee...” she said quietly. Watching the young girl’s back tense for a moment before relaxing. Her fists un-clenched at her sides. </p>
<p>	Alicia smiled over Grace’s shoulder. She had never heard Kalinda speak Hindi before. Had never even been aware that she knew how, but it was beautiful leaving her lips. Grace obviously knew what the words meant as Kalinda said them. Her eyes locked with her daughters, smiling as she motioned for her to turn around. “Is someone gonna tell me what that means?”</p>
<p>	Grace smiled. Really smiled for the first time in over a year. The tears finally fell down her face. Her body relaxed for the first time in the past few months. She could see the tears reflecting back at her in her mother’s eyes. Could hear the shuffling behind her. “It means baby girl,” she whispered, turning to the familiar voice. Seeing the familiar Indian woman for the first time since she walked out the door. Only leaving behind a letter for her mother. She didn’t look the same as Grace remembered. Her hair was no longer neat on the back of her head. There were no shirts or boots. She was in her mother’s Georgetown hoodie. Her long black curls falling down her back. </p>
<p>	Kalinda waited for Grace’s eyes to catch hers. The young girl’s face that she had been so fond of was now covered in makeup. Mostly terrible black eye makeup. The short skirt and tank top alarmed the investigator, but her poker face never showed it. And for the first time, Kalinda found herself speechless. Before she could take another step, Grace ran into her arms, tears running down her face. It broke Kalinda. She was the cause of the girl’s pain. Alicia was right, Grace’s tears were much worse than the attorney’s. The teens pain hit her deeper. The investigator ran a hand up and down the girl’s back. One hand holding her head against her chest, brushing the hair from the girl’s face. “What did I tell you about tears, bachchee,” she whispered against the girl’s hair.</p>
<p>	Grace clung to the woman she had relied on for six years. Someone that had taught her to have confidence in herself. To never let anyone tell her what to do. To never cry in public. “You left,” she whimpered. What else could she say? She felt abandoned by the first person that understood her. Someone that listened to her without judgment. Someone that kept her secrets. </p>
<p>	Kalinda saw Alicia make a move to intervene, but she held up a hand and shook her head. It was her responsibility to clean up the mess that she had caused. She ran a few fingers through the girls hair. She watched Grace’s face as she buried it further into her chest. Kalinda gently wiped the tears away, the mascara smudging across Grace’s pale cheek and staining the investigator’s fingers. “I had to leave. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here now,” she whispered.</p>
<p>	Grace understood why her mentor disappeared the year before. She had read the letter Kalinda had given her to give to her mother. What she didn’t understand was why she didn’t say goodbye? Why she hadn’t told anyone what was happening? “Can you stay?” she asked, her hands loosening on the investigator’s hoodie. </p>
<p>	Kalinda glanced at Alicia who was smiling in the doorway. “I will tell you all about my time away if you go change into your pajamas and wash your face. We’re not going anywhere today.” Grace took a few deep breaths before pulling away and glancing down at the floor. She was ashamed. Kalinda could feel wave after wave of disappointment radiating from the teen. “Hey,” she said with a little more force. Her hand forcing the girl to look at her. “Don’t be ashamed of your emotions. Own them,” she said with a smile. “Now, go wash your face.”</p>
<p>	Alicia watched as her daughter wandered off to her bedroom without a word or protest. When she heard the door to Grace’s room click shut, she took the ten steps to the woman that continued to amaze her with every passing moment. Her arms wrapping around her as a soft sob left Kalinda’s lips. Her face burying in Alicia’s neck. “Have I told you how much I love you today?” she asked, as her hand caressed her lovers cheek. </p>
<p>	Kalinda heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest. Not many tears were falling, but she felt the pain throughout her entire body. “I’m sorry, Alicia. I did that to her.”</p>
<p>	Alicia smiled. “I don’t think it was all your fault. I think her hitting those teen years had a lot to do with it.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda heart ached. “How am I supposed to tell her that I have to disappear again. I have to disappear from her life all over again. I’ll never see her again.”</p>
<p>	Alicia pulled away. Her hand caressing Kalinda’s cheek and she gently kissed her swollen lips. “You don’t have to go anywhere,” she whispered. Her eyes locking with Kalinda’s. “Nick died in a car accident last night. The report said he was intoxicated. Lamond Bishop and his crew were executed in lockup. Peter said they were arresting the rest of them as we speak.” She brushed a few loose strands of hair behind the stunned investigator’s ear. “You don’t have to run anymore.”</p>
<p>	Kalinda rested her forehead against Alicia’s. Her fingers digging into the back of her lovers neck. Her lips moving against the attorney’s. She could taste the freedom for the first time. For once in her adult life, she didn’t have to be afraid. She could walk down the street without looking over her shoulder. She would be able to just live her life again. But she knew it wasn’t an accident. Nick never drank a drop of alcohol through out their entire marriage. He was perfectly capable of beating the shit out of her without any help from the bottle. And a man as powerful as Lemond Bishop doesn’t just end up executed in his jail cell hours after she showed up at Alicia’s door.  “You did something stupid,” she whispered against Alicia’s lips. </p>
<p>	Alicia could only smile. “I did what I had to do to keep you safe. I couldn’t let you go again. I couldn’t watch you leave again.” She glanced behind her, making sure Grace hadn’t ventured out of her room before she kissed Kalinda with the same passion she had a few hours before. “I told you I wouldn’t let you go.”</p>
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